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by October Girl

Published December 15, 2006

In stories that aren't very...good don't crit please

life was meant.
to harness,to flow
our opinion is what we make it
and without us there would be no
and without our Creator there would be no us.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Mr. Everyone
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Mr. Everyone commented Comment · Dec 16, 2006

i love the poem, i agree with the pov but i dont like the word "it" at the end of the fourth lign... maybe u should spice it up with a juicey adjective or put a noun in there. But the poem is great
keep writing=)happy reading(=

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Chandni
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Chandni wrote a review Review · Dec 15, 2006

The essence here is great :) I'm not a fan of your structure but you managed to fit it all in. I found it a little short though, perhaps more on this topic mixed with a little variety between the three last lines ;) The flow is alright, but not tremendous. I'd recommend leaving the "and" out in the last two stanza's, cuts off the tacky

Cheerios, Chandni

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Venus Comment
Venus commented Comment · Dec 15, 2006

Very good at making the mind think, a great skill to do.

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Poor Imp
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Poor Imp commented Comment · Dec 15, 2006

Moved from Storybooks to Poetry



When one is highly alert to language, then nearly everything begs to be a poem.
— James Tate